"There's Hope" of
B J Ministries
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"There's Hope" of B J Ministries |
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Hello! I was raised in a Christian family. My parents always made sure that I was at church every time that the doors were open. We were always the last ones to leave. This, many times, meant that I would be getting home very late in the evening, but my parents loved the church. I was first saved when I was 12 years old. This was a big event in my life. At that time I asked Jesus to be my savior and to forgive me for every sin that I had ever committed. I can remember crying like my heart would break. That day I accepted Jesus as my personal savior and I was 'saved'. I tried my best to be the best Christian that I good. But so many times I fell short of what I thought a Christian should be and what I was taught that I should be, so I headed back to the altar again and asked Jesus to saved me again. This became almost a weekly event. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't be the person I felt that I should be. Each time I would beg Jesus to forgive me and would promise Him that I would never fail Him again. I was taught that if I had completely surrendered myself to Jesus that I would no longer sin. This went on for years until I was about 19 years old. At that time, I just got tired of trying. Ever so often, I would make another trip to the altar and I would try again, but each time I found out that I just couldn't measure up. I got very critical of other people in church whose life didn't measure up either, in my viewpoint, so I felt that it just wasn't possible for anyone to reach that level of perfection. I got very cynical and just didn't try anymore. I continued to attend church when it didn't interfere with my schedule, but it wasn't as important to me anymore. I was totally defeated. I made excuses not to sing. I just didn't have my heart in it. The words were just words on a page and meant nothing to me. I had studied voice at Bethany Nazarene College in Bethany, Oklahoma. Even though I had sang all my life up until I left home, I no longer could sing. My voice was gone.
All of my life I have had a desire to sing. I first studied music at Bethany Nazarene College (now Southern Nazarene) in Bethany, OK. I had grown up singing in church. I always sang in the choir and with many mixed groups doing the harmony. I sang in the acapella choir, and the treble choir, in college. I would always be a part of our camp meeting choir, led by the late great and famous John T. Benson, until after I married. My first solo was "In The Garden" when I was eight. After that, I was "hooked". But as many of us do, I lost sight of this and traveled in a different direction. I married a non-Christian and raised 5 children. I didn't do much singing for the Lord until after my oldest daughter was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma. It was during this time that my life fell apart and I could no longer keep my "boat afloat" without Jesus. I had been trying to manage everything myself, but things always seemed to get only worse. My whole life had fell into little pieces around my feet. For years I had tried to manage a "half-way" relationship with Jesus, but that never gave me any peace. It wasn't until I totally surrendered my life, such as it was, to Jesus, that I finally found the peace that I had been looking for. I told the Lord, "Lord, if you can do anything with this pile of rubble that I call my life, you can have it." Shortly after this, my pastor's wife asked me to sing in church. She had been sitting in front of me at church and heard me singing. I was scared to death. I had not sang in church in several years. After much coaxing, I gave in. My knees was shaking so bad that I could hardly stand. I was afraid that I was going to pass out. I had never sang with a mike before. I sang "No One Ever Cared For Me Like Jesus." I didn't look at anyone in the audience because I was so scared, I just stared at the ceiling. When I got through, I noticed that many of the audience were wiping tears away. (I wasn't sure if that was bad or good) After this, I was asked to sing almost every Sunday and the more that I did, the more comfortable I became singing in front of people again. I felt so alive when I was singing. No matter how bad things got at home, if I could just sing, I could put those problems behind me. That was over 20 years ago. Since that time, my daughter died from the Hodgkins, and three years later,my husband of 34 years died. These were the most painful years of my life but God was always faithful, and no matter how bad things got, He was always there. Five years after the death of my husband, I met a Christian man, and we were married, even though I had thought that I would never risk getting married again. We were only married for three and a half years. During this time, we traveled all over the country singing for the Lord. While in Texas getting ready for a concert, John died very suddenly. I felt so all alone. It was like someone had just cut me in half and left me standing there. I continued doing my solo ministry and wondered how long I would be able to continue. I prayed, "Lord, are you ever going to be able to use me again to touch people?" After a while, I felt that God was leading me toward forming a group. That is when a friend told me about Beverly, and she introduced me to Dave. We got together for a rehearsal and "There's Hope" was born. We sang together for over 100 engagements while we were together. It seemed as if God brought the three of us together. Each one of us needed someone, and we each seemed to be the ones that we all needed. We were a family and had a close-knit group. In fall of 2003, I married Roger, I moved away from Tennessee, and now we are working on our own music ministry in our local area. We hope to reach out to people that quite often are forgotten. We have mostly been singing for churches or retirement homes. I hope that I will be able to meet you someday in person and be able to present our message of the gospel in song to you. May God Richly Bless You, 
The song you are listening to is Barbara singing, "Touch Through Me", written by Dotti Rambo. |
